Maynard Mayhem

Today was an emotional day, it was the day our baby was due to be born. We had named him or her, Quincy. Today we talked about what we should have been doing...I would have been recovering from a C-section and holding a tiny little baby. Was it a boy or a girl?
Carson wanted to have a party and I kinda wish we had. The day was just gloomy. Although we thought about him/her and talked about him/her. I think the hardest thing was no one knew...my mom...my aunt no one knew. I assume that is how people feel who lose someone and no one mentions that person any more...you want to talk about it.
With my first miscarriage I was pregnant again with Carson on my first due date. So today I felt more of a loss.
I know this sounds weird but we went out and bought a new couch..it sounds ridiculous to try to replace a baby with a piece of furniture, but we had been looking anyway. It just felt good to "get' something today.
On a happier note we talked about the "babies" that are waiting on us and they do not even know they have a family! We are picking out beds and thinking about their first Christmas and they have no clue they have a family waiting to hold them and love them! We bought a bigger couch for our new family and the kids are talking about where their new sibs will set in the car! As amazing as a pregnancy and birth are.....how equally amazing is traveling around the world to find the children God made for your family!!