Monday, April 28, 2008

The beginning of our journey!

For those of you (all 2 that read my blog!!) who I have not talked to yet, we have big news!! We are expecting!!! From Ethiopia!! This is going to be a very detailed post and I will continue to use this is as our adoption timeline etc. And I have had a ton of people who want the full story so I can just send them here!!! I will try to start at the beginning....

Paul and I have always planned on adopting, we just never knew when. When we met I actually had a foster son, so we though he would be ours for many years. He returned to his mother (bad situation) and then in 2004 he was back in state custody and we tried again to get him. The day we found out that he would not go to us, we found out we were pregnant with Annastyn. From that time we knew we had our three and that we would adopt #4!! We always talked of Guatemala and we always talked of a boy. This past September we were pregnant again! We were happy, very happy and we just assumed God had other plans. Soon after, we miscarried that baby... we named him Quincy! It is hard to understand but Paul and I knew immediately that we were on the correct course again. We knew that we were supposed to adopt #4. Paul goes as far as to say how can we be so selfish...we have three beautiful children and then there are children without anyone to love them and hold them. I knew in my heart something had changed because I love being pregnant! I had already began to show and was having cravings etc...all the fun stuff! I knew several other ladies who miscarried at the same time and they all yearned to have another baby in their belly....I felt at such peace....I did not want to pregnant again. I am so thankful to God for giving me that unbelievable peace!

Our miscarriage was in October and we began to discuss adoption more seriously immediately! I began to watch Youtube video of adoptions (if you do BEWARE! turn up the volume and bring the tissues!!) and it really got me through the miscarriage day by day. We also began discussing adoption with another couple friend of ours that had also always had it in their plans for "someday"! (I am working on getting her blogging!!!) They had always discussed getting an Asian daughter, the South Korea plan even escorts children into the US via Michigan were her parents have a home!!

In February we begin a mini-adoption study with this other couple through our church. We also planned a meeting with our adoption ministry leader. She has 3 bio children and a daughter (10 years) from the Philippines and a son (6 years) from Ethiopia. I left our meeting intrigued with her story of how God led them to Ethiopia and was smitten with her son! When we got in the car I asked my children what they would think of adopting a brother from the country that Jonas was from and they loved the idea!! So I go home and talk to Paul and he says loves the idea and says he thinks we should go with Ethiopia! So then the next day April (the other couple) calls and says that she thinks they are going to Ethiopia and that they have decided to get a boy!!(they have 2 daughters, 3rd grade and K) Now timing and choices and like this are only orchestrated by GOD!! We were going to Mexico...they were going to Korea for a girl...and now 2 boys from Ethiopia!!!

So now we must choose an agency...aghghghgh!!!! Tera the adoption "lady" from church recommended Susan Killen with Adoption Specialist. Susan had worked at other agencies and wanted to do things a bit differently. The first thing that drew us to her was that she was a Christian agency. The next biggest issue was that she will only take 10 families at a time. She told me she want to find families for babies and not babies for families!! She also is dedicated to finding homes for children over 2 years old. She herself has 2 children from Ethiopia, check out her video here!

So the really neat part about going through a small agency is that our children will all come from one of 2 orphanages and then will be at a transition home in the city while they wait to be picked up. There is already a growing number of Ethiopian children forming in Louisville and many of them may even know each other! Our goal is for my husband and her husband to travel together to pick the children up. We know this may not work out but we will pray everyday that it does, so they can be there for each other for emotional support and pictures hehehe!!! I also just found out that another home school family in Louisville is using this agency..so our children will most likely know each other!! I want to create a family amongst us so as we each travel we can hug and kiss on each others children and take gifts and pictures etc!!!

The big question is how old and girl or boy??? First of all you must know that when you prepare the enormous home study and dossier (packet of papers that go to Ethiopia) that you can get approved for 1 child or more than 1 child. If you apply for 1 child than you can never change that....however if you get approved for 2 than you can still only get 1. So we had already filled out the application for 2+, although the plans were only for a 4-6 year old boy. Meanwhile, I begin to get nervous and I feel that something is not "RIGHT" , I confide in Teaque and she reassures me. I confide in another friend as well. I was afraid we had messed up...wrong country...wrong agency etc. I woke up a few nights later and had seen a vision (or a dream!!) of Paul getting off the plane with a small child in his hands and a child walking beside him hand in hand!! So of course I thought I was NUTS! Although I felt at complete PEACE! No more concerns no more worries...but 2 kids!!!!!!!!!!!! ahghghghg! Paul is out of town and there was no way I was going to run this by him over the phone, so I don't! (I was afraid he may never come home!!) So fast forward like a week. He is home and I have come over and watch Youtube videos with me...he watches like 3 and says well see if they have twins or siblings. I was speechless (no, it does not happen often!) and I got covered in goosebumps!!! I literally did not respond for about 10 minutes...and when I did he said he was waiting for me to say that he was crazy!!! Again GOD and only GOD!!! So we have put in for a boy between the ages of 4 and 6 and a younger sibling of either sex.

I think that will do for now and I will be adding more as we go along!!!

5 comments:

Heather said...

Wow, Bethany! I'm praying for you and your family through this process. I can't wait to meet them.

Teaque said...

I'm so glad you are documenting all this. It will come in so handy when you work on adoption albums. AND of course I'm looking forward to meeting Cutie (and probably Cutie II) **side note for those of you reading this: I get tired of saying "the kid(s)" or "he" etc and named him Cutie. You'll understand when you see these kiddos from Ethiopia!! ** Praying for you, your family, and of course Cutie.

Anonymous said...

Wow! That is awesome! I'm soooo excited for you guys. I can't wait to follow your journey. What kind of time line have they given you?

We have some friends who adopted a little girl from Ethiopia about a year ago and she's doing so well! She was malnourished at first but very quickly learned to love McDonalds! ;)

Unknown said...

Exciting!

And, yes, you'll love having the blog to document. I did, especially when I went back to make Cate a book about her story.

Anonymous said...

Hey Bethany,

Thanks for the blog address. I am really excited about folowing your journey! Reading your story gives me chills. Adoption is such a wonderful experience and as you go through it will reaffirm God's love not only for your new child, but for you. When we decided to follow through with our dreams to adopt Myranda, my best friend and her family were making the step to adopt too! We did all our paper work together, in the end we did not get to travel together, but it worked out as God intended it and our daughters are just a week apart in age! You are in for an adventure of a lifetime and I am so excited that you are letting us share in that!

Dana Mitchell