Quincey

Throughout the first few weeks of this pregnancy, I had no symptoms, (I usually VERY sick with my pregnancies!). I knew that something was wrong and that I did not "feel" pregnant. I also spotted for two days around my fifth week. I was lucky enough to get in for my first ob appointment at only 6 weeks and 4 days. I explained my concerns to my doctor and she immediately suggested an ultrasound. The u/s showed a perfect 4 week pregnancy...and I was sent home. A follow up u/s was scheduled for 2 weeks later.
I was upset and confused and was trying to make sense of the different dates etc. Hubby is in Vegas for work conference and I am alone! Hubbys boss was nice enough to allow him to fly home about 6 hours early...which was nice. It also fell on Carson's birthday. My family and I took Carson to the Extreme Skate Park downtown and then to Tumbleweed for lunch. Hubby walks in to the restaurant and surprises the birthday boy!
So we are to Thursday and the waiting is killing me!! I call the ob and ask them if I can get my Hcg levels checked. My hcg on Thursday is 688 and according to the lab it should be over 1000. Saturday I had my blood drawn again. Saturday I begin to spot and then it is heavy red blood...so I am officially miscarrying the baby. Today is Monday and I still have not heard from the doctor, so I am not sure what my HcG levels were on Saturday and I am not sure if I will have a D&C this week or not.

Telling the children...I told Carson on Tuesday because he kept asking what happened at the doctor...and was it a boy or a girl. He is very mature for his age and I truly think that he was sensing something was wrong. At that time I told him that the baby might not live. He was quiet for awhile and then he grabbed my hand and asked if I would die if the baby died? So that discussion led to what will happen to the baby? So many hard questions from a not yet 7 year old!

So the days have followed with a question or so every day. At one point Carson said "That he was not going to pray for another baby, becuase he had already prayed so long for this one". He asked granny to hold his hand and told her that the baby might live or die. He has asked over and over again why the doctor can't fix the baby, and that if he was a doctor he would fix every baby.

This brings us to last night. We were watching Extreme Home Makeover and the little girl had cancer and was receiving chemo. He asks if the doctor can give chemo to our baby to make it better. (Remember,I had just begun heavy bleeding)I asked Paul to come upstairs and told him that it was time to tell Carson that the baby had died. Paul struggled for awhile and then explains to Carson that our baby will not ever live on earth with us....that it is going to live with Jesus instead. Carson had tons of questions..as you can imagine! So we answer tons of questions and we then offered the idea to the children to name the baby. After reeling off name after name of all their friends. Soon Madelyn suggested Cinderella...so considering the baby was given to us in Disney I tell them to go with the theme and try to agree on a Disney name. We go through Ariel, Cinderella, Troy, Gabriella (HSM), then we get to The Little Einsteins...Leo, Annie, Jude and Quincey. So it is, our baby is Quincey!